San Diego Scene…online

Karaoke Definitions:

ROTATION: The order in which customers of karaoke establishments will sing, usually determined by the order in which customers make requests to sing and altered by additions of customers arriving later at the establishment than others. If used correctly and ethically, time on stage will be allocated fairly to all people who wish to sing.

SUICIDE: When a singer performs a song he or she has never performed before.

HOMICIDE: When a singer performs a song he or she has never performed before (see suicide), and knows from the very start that the performance will be quite bad.

VIRGIN: A person performing on a karaoke stage for the first time ever in his or her life.

FAKE VIRGIN: A person performing on a karaoke stage for the first time in his or her life, but has sung in front of audiences before (i.e., was in a band, in choir, in opera, etc.)

BATHROOM BREAK (also known as “SMOKE BREAK”): A song, whenever performed, no matter how well performed, induces a customer or customers to head to the bathroom, outside, or anywhere else from the karaoke singing space.

LIQUID COURAGE: Any alcoholic beverage that facilitates a singer coming up on stage.

MILLI VANILLI: A singer that goes up with another person, then won’t take the microphone, and just stands there and mouths the words the whole time.

PROJECTION IMPAIRED: When a singer sings so quietly that a KJ has to turn the mic up to the point of feedback.

KARAOKE ALZHEIMER’S: A singer turns in a song, then 5 minutes later has to come up and ask the host what they put in.

GHOST SINGER: A person who puts in a song, promptly disappears until after they are called, then mysteriously re-appears.

DEDICATION: Any ballad sung in the hopes of gaining female companionship for the evening.

KARAOKEPHOBIA: When someone is so scared of karaoke, that they push the book away from them as if it were an odious thing that will metaphysically transport them on stage if they open it.

KARAOKE TERRORISM: Drafting another person to sing without their knowledge.

DRAFT CARD: A request slip with someone’s name on it who has not volunteered to sing.

AUDIOPHOOL: Someone who knows nothing about audio, but always tries to tell the KJ how to run the sound…”hey, can I get some reverb, maaaaan?”

CAVE DWELLER: Someone who wraps their hand around the mic, thinking it looks cool, completely unaware that it makes their voice sound like they’re singing “Aqualung.”

Karaoke Secrets - How to become a Karaoke Star

For those who are starting out on the karaoke circuit here are a some helpful hints we think might just make you a karaoke star or at least help you get the most from your karaoke performance:

1) Be honest with the karaoke host/hostess, and tell them if you are a karaoke “virgin”, or just new to the song you’re attempting. Usually their experience and electronics can make anyone sound at least passable.

2) Use professional microphone techniques. Most karaoke microphones have a dynamic cardiod sound pick-up pattern. This means you will generally get the best sound quality from your incoming voice if you put the ‘mic’ perpendicular (90-degree angle) to your mouth as you sing. DON’T sing across the mic as people do on TV, or you won’t sound as loud. Pull the mic slightly back from your mouth during any super-loud moments in your song (it’s not just for show…), and then move it closer during softer passages. DON’T blast out your fellow patrons with volume, but DO exploit the full dramatic potentials. Do not ever: blow, spit or yell into the mic. Do not bang or hit it either. Since most wireless karaoke mics cost around a few hundred dollars, you probably would not want to be forced to pick up the tab after ruining one!

3) Sing from the diaphragm. Besides technique and melody or pacing problems, this is one of most difficult areas of singing (karaoke or not) to master. Try to use your entire lungs, rather than just taking shallow breaths forced out of the throat. Try standing up to sing, as you’ll be able to breathe deeper.

4) Sing within your vocal range. While someone who is still evolving may sing mid-range slow songs like, “Your Song,” a pro male singer might also try “At This Moment,” and a bravura female may ask: “Don’t it Make My Brown Eyes Blue?” It’s just a matter of realistic awareness of your voice and past singing experiences.

5) Don’t be afraid to ask the KJ to raise or lower the pitch of the song (speeding up or slowing down the song, making it sound like it was recorded for higher or lower vocal ranges). Sometimes you’ll have to practice the song several times before you know exactly what the right key is for your voice.

6) Use your body. Karaoke is more than just singing the right words on pitch at the ‘right’ speed with good mic technique. Karaoke is also a visual performance medium. Work the room, but don’t be a ‘tree’ stuck to one spot on the stage, but move around. Take command of the space around you. Don’t be a ‘bird,’ but instead use your arms to express the underlying emotional theme of the music.